James Dean, Me, and...Death

James Dean had a strange obsession with death. He is seen in several candid photographs with various symbols of death, including hanging from a noose and the one at left, where he sat inside of a coffin in the funeral home where his body would be taken a mere seven months later.

I too am curious about death. However, unlike James Dean, I oftentimes worry about other peoples deaths, not my own.

I cannot stand to see someone I know sleeping if I can't see them breathing. I will always go over and check. I have to have a piece of mind.

I'm not trying to creep anyone out or anything, but death has been on my mind a lot lately.

My Nana is not doing so well lately. I am not sure how much longer we are going to have her in our lives and it scares me. I've always considered my Nana to be a bionic woman of sorts. She has had many health issues throughout her life, going in and out of the hospitals since she was a small girl. Yet, she always comes out on top. The last time she was in the hospital, the doctor used her chart to teach his students. One of them said, "She's had all of this and she's still alive". To give you an example of her strength, she recovered almost 90% from a major stroke in just over two weeks. That is unheard of.

I am struggling with the thought of saying goodbye forever. It is tearing me apart to just think about it. I know that I should be glad that she's lived a long and wonderful life. I know that I should be okay with this. But I'm not. I'm selfish and I want her in my life for a long time to come. However, I know that I have no control over this. God does.

Death is still tragic. James Dean died at the beginning of his life. He was only in his twenties. His life was cut tragically short. A boy from my High School died unexpectedly during surgery this week. That is what confuses me about death. It doesn't just come for us when we're old and have lived a full life. Too often, it comes for people in the prime of their life. No one knows why, especially me. I know that there are several people out there who are searching for the answers. Please let me know if you find them

Book Review: Surviving James Dean

This book was written by William Bast, close friend, confidant, and oftentimes roommate to James Dean. Originally published in 1956 under the title James Dean: A Biography, the book sold well and became the first official biography of James Dean. It garnered the author a lot of publicity and many considered it THE definitive James Dean book. However, that was only half the story. What Mr. Bast left out was the fact that as well as being James Dean's close friend, confidant, and roommate, he was also his lover.

William Bast met James Dean while they were both students in the UCLA theatre department. From that meeting (through their girlfriends at the time) a friendship blossomed. That friendship would last over the next five years until the tragic death of James Dean in 1955.

The connection that these two shared is hard to describe, and I won't try to do it justice. I couldn't possibly get it right. It was the kind of friendship and love that one only experiences once in a lifetime. To say more would be to ruin the book.

This book not only gives you a look at James Dean. You also follow the author and learn about his life. It gives you a great view and understanding of Hollywood in the 1950's and also what it was like to be a homosexual during that time period. I highly recommend this book, not just for the story of James and William, but for the descriptions of the era as well.